Beware the Floscus

by Brad Beals

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I bet Adam enjoyed naming the animals. I know I would have. But since I don’t often run into unnamed species, I name situations instead. Here are a few:

1. sermat (sir maht) n.: the sudden, sometimes awkward silence that can arise during group discussions. (Note: there is a belief that sermats occur most often at 20 minutes to and after the hour; this is a stupid belief.)

From the Latin sermo meaning to talk and the Greek stamato meaning to stop or pause.

A lively discussion on God’s sovereignty flowed on into the early hours, interrupted only by the pizza-delivery guy and the occasional sermat.



2. floscus (flah skus) n.: the explosive effect that can occur as one takes the very last bites of a closed, sandwich-type food item such as a burrito.

From the latin fluo, meaning flow, and esca meaning food.

You’re getting near the end of that calzone, Lewis, and that’s a clean shirt, so beware the floscus.



3. incurputation (in ker pyu tay shun) n.: an encounter in which two people, approaching from opposite directions, attempt to pass by one another; but in making room, both choose the same side thereby running into each other. This is sometimes followed by a series of similar side-to-sdie moves, as each participant tries to get past the other. Incurputations are often terminated by one or both parties smiling or laughing awkwardly and saying something like, “shall we dance?” Variations include two or more cars starting and stopping simultaneously at a stop sign, a European kiss to the check where the parties bump noses, and introductions between people from the West and Far East in which the opposites can’t figure out whether to bow or shake hands and so attempt to do both, alternately, clumsily, ineffectively.

From the latin incurse meaning to collide and the Greek perpate meaning to step or walk.

She had determined to make an elegant entrance into the restaurant, but a blushing incurpatation with a waiter spoiled the effect.

Go ahead and try these out. Make people look at you funny and say, “whu?” It’s great fun, as words should be.


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